


We Aren't Who We Were

by anomalation



Category: We Are Who We Are (TV 2020)
Genre: Boundaries, Divorce, Dysfunctional Family, Family Bonding, Gen, Narcissist Parent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:54:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29368833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anomalation/pseuds/anomalation
Summary: Divorced. It was a word that like, meant one thing clearly and a bunch of other things that were question marks at the moment. Like where Maggie would go, and if she’d still talk to him, and if Mom was… well, whatever she was usually but worse. There was a lot that was going to change, but the next few hours were just sort of this purgatory. Moving through classes, not listening to anyone, nothing changing. Everything just holding its breath. Fraser decided he didn’t want to read the text again, because even thinking about it was kind of enough to make him think about walking out of the classroom and the building and the base in general, and just go get lost. But doing that now would make Mom so mad at him he thought she might decide to kick him out, too, while she was in the middle of getting rid of people. So he didn't want to think about it.When he’d sort of run away before, Maggie was the one to come and find him. Fraser didn’t want to think about that either.
Relationships: Fraser Wilson & Harper Poythress, Fraser Wilson & Maggie Wilson
Comments: 3
Kudos: 3





	We Aren't Who We Were

**Author's Note:**

> Sarah was an awful parent and a textbook narcissist and I insist on that being addressed. Stan Maggie for good health <3 
> 
> Written by someone with a very loose understanding of what a military base in Italy would be like - and I mean like, looser than the show had.

Fraser wasn’t there for the actual moment shit went down but like Jesus Christ, hearing about it was worse. He didn’t even want to be there anyways. When Mom blew up at people it was usually him, so whenever it wasn’t him Fraser stayed away in case her muscle memory or whatever kicked in and she ended up being mad at him too. So. He didn’t want to be there when she blew up at Maggie but in the end he wished he had been because hearing about it was yeah. Just worse.

He heard about it at school first, which was just fucking great. Of course every dumbass normie wanted to tell him his moms were fighting as if that proved something about all gay people everywhere. At least Britney pretended to be sad about it. Even though she was just as fucking delighted as anyone else.

Harper didn’t count. They found him at lunch, sank down in the seat next to him and focused on the pudding cup they were opening and said, “You heard by now, right?”

“What, that my moms fucking… bitched each other out in the middle of a meeting with Mom’s commanding officer? Yeah, that got back to me,” Fraser said.

“Don’t be a baby,” Harper frowned. “This isn’t my fault.”

“No I know, I know, but.” Fraser put his head down in his arms.

He heard Harper get the cup open and then lick the lid - gross, an awful sound. “You heard the divorce thing?” they asked, as calm as ever.

“Yeah.”

“Put your headphones in,” Harper told him. “You won’t hear anything new today. You’ll have to talk to them once you’re home, but until then don’t worry about it.”

That was probably good advice. Fraser tilted his head to look at them and see if they meant it, and of course they did. He’d miss them and their good advice when their dad actually got transferred. “Fine,” he said. “But leave your window unlocked tonight.”

“Fine.”

Mom texted him during history. Fraser saw his phone light up but didn’t look at it because the teacher would definitely take the phone from him if he caught him using it during class again. He looked after, between classes. And then he almost wondered if he’d forgotten how to read.

_Maggie and I are getting divorced. Pizza for dinner tonight. Come straight home._

Harper came over, moved his hands and sat on his desk. “What?” they asked.

“Nothing,” Fraser said. “I just need to know what’s going on.”

That was believable enough. They bought it. Ruffled his hair to make it a mess and then said, “Come on. Get up.”

Divorced. It was a word that like, meant one thing clearly and a bunch of other things that were question marks at the moment. Like where Maggie would go, and if she’d still talk to him, and if Mom was… well, whatever she was usually but worse. There was a lot that was going to change, but the next few hours were just sort of this purgatory. Moving through classes, not listening to anyone, nothing changing. Everything just holding its breath. Fraser decided he didn’t want to read the text again, because even thinking about it was kind of enough to make him think about walking out of the classroom and the building and the base in general, and just go get lost. But doing that now would make Mom so mad at him he thought she might decide to kick him out, too, while she was in the middle of getting rid of people. So he didn't want to think about it.  


When he’d sort of run away before, Maggie was the one to come and find him. Fraser didn’t want to think about that either.

Harper walked home with him, just the two of them. “Hey,” they said when they were standing outside their houses. “It’s gonna be okay.”

“It’s not,” Fraser said, digging a finger in the inside corner of his eye. “But thanks.”

“Yes it will.”

“No, it won’t, you don’t know my mom.”

“I know her pretty well,” Harper said. Because they really thought that, and Fraser hadn’t corrected them because he loved them and wanted them to be happy but now letting them think that was just not something in the realm of possibility.

“You don’t, though. Just because she taught you to shoot a gun better, than, like however good you could already shoot a gun, okay. That doesn’t mean you know her at all.”

“That’s not all we-“

“Okay, fine. Sure. Whatever, and she listened to you about your gender identity, and… and that meant a lot to you and everything but you still don’t get it. You just don’t. So I don’t want to hear it from you. It’s not going to be okay, my moms are getting fucking divorced.”

Harper looked at him evenly, blinked once. And then they just turned around and went inside, so fuck them, Fraser did the same thing. It didn’t matter. His moms were getting divorced, so of course he was going to be fighting with his best friend too. That’s just how life worked. If anything good happened, like six bad things had to happen to balance it out. Like how he’d be losing Harper for good once their family got transferred. That was Mom’s fault. Not that she’d ever want to hear that.

Nothing looked different once he was inside, so that seemed like a tentatively good sign. If Maggie was gone she’d take her stuff, right? But then he realized that there wasn’t really a ton of stuff in here that was just hers. She wouldn’t take the furniture, or the dishes. But was that a problem? Should Maggie have more stuff in here? Fraser wondered what would’ve happened if she’d tried. Mom would’ve freaked out, probably. She had discerning taste. One of the only things they actually had in common.

There was a box of pizza on the counter. He walked past it, to go to his room and drop his bag. Mom was in her bedroom - and now it was just hers and not hers and Maggie’s. Now the house was just hers and he was just hers and it was all ruined. She called his name when she saw him and Fraser couldn’t fucking look at her. He ignored her as long as he could, until she was in his doorway talking loudly. Mom was already pissed. So the divorce thing was for real, Fraser realized with a sickening sort of feeling. Something was empty in his guts, something was really wrong. There was a rushing in his ears too, and Fraser shoved the pizza clear off the counter with a rush of pure rage that made it hard to think.

Mom was pissed about that, obviously. She put him in one of those crushing kinds of hugs that made him feel like he was dying and kept him from wrecking anything else. And after all of that Fraser was just too tired to fight it anymore.

“She’s leaving us.” Mom was leaning against the fridge, sitting on the floor. Maybe she was crying, but it didn’t seem totally real. “But we’re going to be fine. We don’t need her. It’s always been just you and me.”

And like, she could say that as much as she wanted but. It wasn’t true. Maggie had been there for them for as long as Fraser could remember. In the kind of way that he never thought about too hard but couldn’t imagine not having, now that he had to try and picture that. Maggie held them apart when Fraser wanted to kill Mom or vice versa, she made dinner and didn’t make a big deal if Fraser didn’t like it, she got him things he actually wanted for Christmas. Fraser had never thought so much about Maggie in his life as he was thinking about her tonight, right now.

“Why, though?” Fraser asked. “What did you say to her?” He was on the opposite side of the kitchen as Mom. Maybe he was gonna get mad again, if he could work himself up to it.

“Nothing,” Mom said emphatically. “I didn’t say anything, she just blew up out of nowhere.”

“Right, because that seems likely,” Fraser muttered and Mom pretended not to hear.

She ran her hands through her hair several times, scraping it back in a way that looked painful. Then she covered her face. She looked upset, which was Fraser’s cue to not believe a single fucking word she said. “We’ll be fine,” she said again.

“You’ll be fine,” Fraser said.

“No, _us_ ,” Mom insisted. “Both of us.”

The thing he didn’t know how to say without making a huge thing about it was that he didn’t think that was true. It wasn’t both of them that Mom thought about. It was her, and sometimes she thought of him as being part of her. She just got mad when he did anything on his own, so it wasn’t even like it was a good thing. And if he brought it up now, she’d be more mad then ever, and that didn’t seem like the smartest idea. Not without Maggie here, to keep them from killing each other. So Fraser waited until she went to bed, and then he crept out his window to Harper’s house.

Maggie was sitting on the couch, wearing pajamas that weren’t hers and with her hair down in a braid. She saw Fraser, at the side door, and motioned him in. She didn’t look mad at him, but then Maggie wasn’t as easy to tell what she was thinking. But Fraser sat next to her, and waited.

“I’m leaving her,” Maggie said. “I’m not leaving you.”

That sounded like a paradox. Fraser didn’t know how that was even possible. So he skipped that part and asked, “So you’re staying?”

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Maggie said, and looked over at him. She looked different with her hair down. Like just some lady that Fraser didn’t know that well. “What do you want me to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Maggie said with a reluctant smile growing on her face, “I want to hear from you first. What do you want?”

“Like it’s my job to want you two to stick together?”

That made her laugh, for whatever reason. “No, dear. For you, for us.” She folded her hands together, leaned her elbows on her knees and looked over at him. “Do you want me in your life?”

Fraser’s breath kept catching in his throat. “You don’t want to be?”

And that made her say something in Portuguese under her breath as she pulled him close under her arm for a hug. “I’m going to lay this out for you as clearly as I can, but you have to give a real answer, yes?” Fraser nodded before he knew if it was true or not. He didn’t want her to let go. “I need to know what you want from me, so I can try and give it to you. Do you want to keep seeing me, or do you not care, or…” Her arm was still around him. “There’s no wrong answer. I know you’re not my son, the way you’re Sarah’s, but. I care about you, Fraser. I’ll only leave if you want me gone.”

“I don’t ,” Fraser answered, and shut his eyes. “Can I stay here?”

Maggie said yes, she let him sleep on the pull out with her. Fraser lay down next to her, put up with her squeezing him tight and kissing his head. She smelled like herself still, and also kind of like Harper’s family which was weird. He was all set to sleep like that, but then she let go of him and turned onto her other side so her back was to him. Like the warmest body pillow in the world. Not like Mom at all.

And that was it, she just fucking left him alone. When she got up, she kissed his temple, leaning hard with her hand on his shoulder, and then she got up. Fraser was annoyed to be awake, mostly. Almost exclusively annoyed. But some of him didn’t totally hate it. It was nice, sort of. It could be nice.

Harper woke him up for real, sitting on the edge of the pull out and poking his leg. “Wake up, loser,” they said. “You want to go on the boat with me and Dad?”

“No,” Fraser said. “Enjoy being butch.”

He got up, though. Because he couldn’t stop thinking, and because it was a matter of time until Mom would notice he was missing. There were things he wanted to say before he showed up, questions he meant to get the answer to before Maggie ruined it by being maternal and whatever. So he got up and followed the sound of her voice to the kitchen. She was talking to Harper’s mom, leaned against the stove in a really close kind of way. Like. Okay, they were definitely friends.

“Good morning, cariño,” Maggie said to him. There was a little smile on her face. “How do you feel?”

“Why’d you start arguing?” Fraser asked. It was rude, definitely. It was almost shockingly rude, but he couldn’t help himself.

Jenny started to excuse herself, but Maggie just answered. “We disagree on how to handle your little adventure,” she said. No smile, but she didn’t seem mad at him.

“Disagree how?” Fraser said, and then, “So it’s my fault.”

“No,” Maggie said unequivocally. “Coffee?”

He did like coffee. So he took a cup from Maggie and that was a couple of minutes of being normal that let him cool down enough to realize she never answered his first question. She was smiling more than she usually did, she was actually pretty calm for somebody who was getting a divorce. Unless the divorce wasn’t a big deal to her or something. He wanted to ask her about that too, but then Mom showed up. So then the part of the morning where they were just chill and drinking coffee was over, and the fighting was starting. Jenny left. Fraser wished he could too.

Well, Maggie didn’t exactly fight actually. She listened. And then when Mom was done, Maggie said her part. She said that Mom didn’t get to talk to her like that anymore, and that when Mom was ready to have a rational discussion about things she could try again. Then Mom tried to get Frasier to come home with her, and Fraser was just sort of standing in the middle of the room listening and not processing.

“Sarah,” Maggie said then. “If you make this hard for him, you’ll regret it. Leave him be. Let him make his own decisions.”

“Oh, because that goes so well,” Mom scoffed.

“Right. Seems like only getting involved when you’re personally interested hasn’t proven to be a winning parenting strategy,” Maggie said, ice cold.

And Fraser just looked between the two of them. Not lethargic, not frozen, but consciously not moving. Maybe like prey. He wasn’t afraid of Maggie, he made a point of noticing that. It was Mom that was his predator.

“We have plans,” Fraser said to Mom. “We’re going to get brunch.”

Mom looked at Maggie, who didn’t even blink. “Skipping school?” Mom asked.

“He’ll make it up,” Maggie said, which made Fraser feel kind of good. Like she didn’t think he was stupid, like Mom mostly thought he was. Or maybe not stupid, but she definitely thought he wasn’t the type of kid good at following rules. Which. He wasn’t. But who did he learn that from? The mom who broke as many rules as she could to get what she wanted, probably.

He didn’t talk about any of that with Maggie, thought, even when they did go get brunch. They sat outside on some little patio, and got black espresso that made his heart beat faster, and once Fraser had two cups, he couldn’t keep quiet any longer. “I don’t want to make Mom mad,” he said for starters. “But it’s not like you’re going to stop being my mom too.”

Maggie nodded a couple times. “Alright,” she said. “Who do you want to live with?”

“I dunno.”

“What would you say if it wouldn’t make her upset?”

“You,” Fraser answered.

It looked like she didn’t believe him. “And what would you say if you didn’t want to make me upset?” she asked, which was a good question and a nice way of asking that.

So, Fraser did tell the truth. “You,” he said. “But like. I really want to be by Harper. I don’t want to leave them.”

Maggie was much more relaxed to hear that. “Okay,” she said. “I’ll do my best to make sure that happens.”

“Really?”

She was quiet for a moment, had a sip of her espresso and a bite of her pastry thing. “Maybe we can try living in a world where when one of us says we want something, the other person helps them get it.”

“Well, what if I said I wanted cocaine,” Fraser said.“Would you help me get that?”

“If you ask for something unreasonable and mean it,” Maggie said with a little bit of a smile. “Then we can talk about it. And same for me.”

Fraser narrowed his eyes at her. “You’re going to ask me for unreasonable things?”

“Not on purpose. But, for example, was it reasonable for your mother to ask you not to go to that concert, when it meant so much to you?”

Sounded like a trick question. Fraser didn’t answer.

“Because,” Maggie said. “I don’t think it was.”

“How would that conversation go?” Fraser said. “If I say something you want isn’t cool and then we don’t agree.”

“I’d like to talk to you until we do agree,” she said. Sticking to her story. And hey, she was worse at fighting than Mom was, so. For the moment, Fraser decided to agree to it. It didn’t seem likely any of this would really happen, though. Mom was used to getting what she wanted.

Harper was there when they got back, and Fraser leaned in their bedroom doorway. “Will you talk to me?”

“Are you done being mad?”

“Not really. My moms are getting divorced, so. I’ll probably be mad for a while. But I’ll stop taking it out on you,” he mumbled, and they gave him a look that meant he was mostly forgiven. He went in and crawled over them to get into bed. “Are you skipping too?”

“Sick,” Harper said. “Mysterious stomach bug after Dad left.”

“Oh no.” Fraser settled in next to them, head on their shoulder. “Maybe I have it too. Maybe I’ll have it for weeks,” he said mostly to himself. “And then I’ll die.”

“It’ll get worse the longer you don’t go to school,” Harper said.

“Yeah.” True. But maybe it would get worse anyways, no matter what, forever.

He had to go home that night, for example. Couldn’t live at Harper’s obviously, but that also meant he had to go back to Mom. Didn’t feel fair. Everyone fun was at Harper’s house, and Mom and him were just in a cold dead box that she called home, loudly. Whatever. Fraser took a shower with the door locked and then went to bed with his desk against the door and Mom only yelled at him for like ten minutes before she went to bed, so. He stayed. She’d be mad if he didn’t stay. And then in the morning, she made pancakes with chocolate chips like that would make him feel better about all of this. Like that put them on the same side.

Were they really on different sides, though? Like. She was his mom. His closest - and as far as it mattered, basically only - blood relative. That counted for something, probably. Not nothing.

“What are you even talking about?” Harper said, when he tried to tell them.

“What do you mean, what am I talking about? It’s biological.”

Harper whacked him in the gut. They were leaning against the wall outside school, watching the sky. “Biology is so not important,” she said. “Don’t be so limited.”

Whatever. Fraser wasn’t talking about gender, but then he did think about it a little bit more and he had to say that was a pretty good point. Why did it matter whose blood was in him, or whose vagina he came out of or DNA in his cells? Mom had spent so long telling him his dad didn’t matter, after all, so like. Why did she? Just because she said so? That was pretty fucking dumb.

“What does she even do that’s so bad?” Harper asked.

“I don’t know.” He scuffed his foot against the pavement. “She’s just a cunt.”

“I mean, I fight with my mom too.”

“Yeah, I know, but.”

“What?”

“Well, like. Does your mom ever make you feel like…. Well, like you're not stupid but you're definitely not smart enough to do anything without her and if you don't do what she says she'll stop talking to you forever except it'll be all your fault because obviously she never wants it to get that far?" he said, and couldn't remember how to breathe in for a second.

"No," Harper said. "Is that how she makes you feel?"

"I don't know," Fraser lied.

"Has she ever, like. Hit you?"

That was a complicated question too, because generally no, except for the times when Fraser had started it or retaliated harder. It didn't sound good, to say you got into fights with your mom. It made it sound like your family sucked, and Fraser's family didn't. Not really. Both his moms loved him and took care of him and let him wear whatever he wanted and were okay with him being gay. That wasn't something he could count on, generally, in any random family. Harper didn't have that. So, like, answering the question would totally give Harper the wrong impression about what it was like. He wasn't scared of her mom like that. She was just judgmental, and dramatic, and unpredictable. That's where he got it from. 

"Fraser," Harper said, which was when he noticed that not answering had made it sound like he just didn't need to know how to say that the answer was yes.

"No," he said too late. "It's fine, please."

"Okay, but."

"I just. If I'm picking the mom I'm living with, it's Maggie because she doesn't do any of that shit to me. And if you're mad, fine. You can have my mom, if you like her so much." He wanted to storm away from her, he got up to do that and Harper pulled him back hard enough that the brick wall stung his elbow and shoulder through his shirt. "Ow, bitch," Fraser said, but he couldn't make himself really mean it.

Harper moved to stand directly in front of him, and pressed their hands into his shoulders. They wanted to read his mind, but Fraser didn’t let them. “I don’t want your mom,” Harper finally said.

“No, you don’t.”

“Okay.” They rolled their eyes.

It was pretty hard to explain, too, that it wasn’t even just Mom. It felt like living in a town where every single person worked for your mom and was being paid to tell her exactly what you were doing if it wasn’t pre-approved behavior so you basically felt like someone was looking at you at all times. And worst of all, some of them were hot. Like, how was that even fair? It was like being eaten alive, the whole base was an organism digesting him slowly and Mom was the brain.

But if he said that, Harper would probably get weird again and Fraser didn’t want that more than basically anything, so he didn’t say anything else.

Maggie sort of seemed to understand, without him talking about it. She took him off-base whenever she could, after that. A dinner, that Mom freaked out over. A night at the movies, which Mom pretended was cool. Karaoke, which was Fraser’s suggestion, which Mom again pretended she wasn’t upset about but really was. Obviously was, too, from the way she slammed kitchen cupboards shut when he didn’t want to do more impromptu singing with her. Like, just because she had to prove she wouldn’t miss a single thing about him.

After the whole singing fight, Fraser slammed his bedroom door shut and wedged his desk up against it and then hopped out of the window and ran. To Harper's house, yeah, but he was going to find Maggie.

Danny and Harper's dad were in the living room, arguing over something with a Trump hat and Muslim whatever. Fraser looked at them for a second - and they looked back, argument paused. Before they knew what to say, Fraser slipped past them to try and find Maggie. The house was starting to be more boxes than furniture. Packing. Fraser always insisted on packing his own things - just had the feeling Mom would ruin a shirt she didn't like on purpose or something.

"Fraser," Harper's dad said. Richard Poythress. Fraser had never referred to him by name.

"What."

"The girls aren't here."

Harper wasn't a girl. But Fraser wasn't sure how totally up front Harper had been about that so he just nodded. He could go find them. He could feel a sort of itch under his skin, the same kind of feeling that always made him want to just go somewhere he doesn't even know and see people who don't know him and like jump off a bridge or something. Sinking - that was the feeling in his gut, and it made him want to make it real.

"Can I help you?” Harper's dad asked next, which was a question Fraser could hardly even think about. Could he help. After Mom had gotten him reassigned - leaving in a few weeks, headed to another base. And Harper going with him. That was something Fraser definitely needed to think about at some point.

"No," Fraser said.

"You look upset."

Fraser shrugged. "Can I use the bathroom," Fraser said, and they nodded. So he went to the bathroom and shut the door and got in the tub and lay down and just breathed. There was a little brown stain in one corner of the ceiling, like a watermark or something. The tub was cold, and smelled like soaps and hair products that weren't what he was used to. Some of it smelled like Harper, at least. That was good. But mostly he felt like he was on ice. Preserved. Exactly as upset as he was, but frozen.

Someone knocked on the door eventually. Maggie; Fraser could tell from how she knocked and then waited for him to actually answer. She never barged in anywhere - that was his other Mom. Maggie never said anything, but Fraser could feel that she thought it was weird sometimes. How Mom was always just barging into everywhere and never waited for an answer. He hated it, before. Because her thinking it was weird made him feel like maybe it actually was. He didn't hate Maggie, though.

She sat on the toilet, folded her hands together. “Are you okay?” she asked.

“Mom,” he said, and then - fuck - teared up.

“What happened?” she said.

“She just.” He almost couldn’t remember. He definitely didn’t want to.

“Our divorce hearing is next week,” Maggie said. “You know that, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And you know the Poythress family is going to Naples.” Fraser just nodded. “I thought I might go with them. Or, that we might be able to. Together.”

“Oh.” Fraser looked back up at the ceiling.

“But. If you want to come with me, you’re going to have to say that. In court. You’re at the age where, a judge will take you very seriously. If you have a preference.”

“So I just have to say it to Mom. That I want to go with you instead.”

“Yeah.”

It sounded like she was telling him he could have a billion dollars if he just went to the moon to get it. Equally reasonable. “Okay,” he said. “Great.”

“I won’t upset, if that’s something you can’t do,” she said. “Or don’t want to. I’d never be upset with you for that. And if you need somewhere to stay when you visit Caitlin, you can stay with me.”

He wanted to correct her. Harper, not Caitlin. But he wasn’t going to out her even to Maggie. Not without asking first. “Okay,” he said. “Can I think about it?”

“Of course. I love you.”

Kind of random. “Sure,” he said. “Whatever.” Maggie gave him her hand, and he let her pull him up out of the tub. And he hugged her, then, while he was there. Maggie was solid and strong, like Mom. She did a hundred push ups every morning. Real butch shit. She held him tightly. He almost said something else, but didn’t.

And then he was just. Existing. Fucking, living and alive and walking and waking up and getting dressed and doing school but he wasn’t totally there. Most of him was thinking about the day that eventually came, the day in court. And he didn’t know what he was going to say until he said it, but at the same time he knew exactly what he wanted to say. Like, maybe what he always meant to say, when it came down to it. Just what he couldn’t think about saying until he was actually saying it, and then it was said. He wanted to stay with Maggie to be by his friends. Mom couldn’t blame him for that too bad, hopefully.

Though, Mom could blame him for whatever the hell she wanted, too.

He didn’t let Maggie hug him, afterward, because he knew Mom would be there and mad. Which, she was. Of course she was. He was her kid, he knew her moods. “Congratulations,” she said for starters, and that wasn’t good. “You obviously wanted to hurt me, and you’ve done it.”

“I wasn’t,” Fraser began.

“For God’s sake, Sarah,” Maggie said for him. “People don’t make decisions _at_ you.”

“You’re about to take my son from me, the least you could do is give us a second to talk,” Mom said shortly. She took Fraser by the shoulders then, and tried to look him in the eye but he wouldn’t look back. “Fraser,” she said.

“What.”

“You’d still get to see your friend, if you stayed. We could go every weekend, on the train.”

It sounded good. Of course it did - Mom wanted it to. But she’d get bored of going to Naples pretty fast, and she wouldn’t have anything to do there anyways, and maybe she’d let him go on his own but something made him doubt it. “It’s not about that,” was what Fraser ended up saying which made Mom ask what it _was_ about, duh, but Fraser didn’t say what. He just shrugged, until they got to leave and then he brought Maggie home too because he needed to pack without Mom bothering him.

Mom still tried, of course. She was bad at losing - and he was bad at losing too, because of her maybe. Or maybe just because that was something he sucked at. Whatever. He didn’t really super care. He just put all the things he couldn’t live without in the two suitcases and one duffle bag that he had - which was all of the things he had left now - and then he and Maggie left. Well, went across the yard. And then Maggie went back to get Fraser’s mattress.

Harper’s mom was onboard, but their dad was less so. When Fraser dropped all his stuff in Harper’s room, he caught their dad being not psyched. He looked at the bags and the mattress and then at his wife and made a face that meant they had to talk.

Maggie put her hand on Fraser’s shoulder. “Will you come with me, please?” she asked.

“Where?” he said, and then, “Yeah.”

She took him into town. In her big car, the one she came to get him in when he ran away here but this time she was running away with him maybe. Running alongside him. He was worried she’d want to talk, but she just took him to get some gelato and then sat with him on the hood of the car, leaning against the windshield. They were both still dressed for court - uncomfortable, but Maggie had unbuttoned two buttons and Fraser left his blazer in the car so it wouldn’t get messed up. It was dry-clean only, and the next couple weeks were going to be too busy. And still, she didn’t talk.

So Fraser broke the silence. “I’m not interested in Caitlin,” he said. “Like. We’re never going to.”

“Okay.” Maggie didn’t sound particularly interested.

Fraser didn’t know what to do with that. “So like,” he began again. “It’s. You don’t have to worry about. Like.”

“Okay,” Maggie repeated, and then clarified. “I believe you. Is there any particular reason that you wanted to bring this up now?”

“About staying with them. All of them.”

Maggie nodded then, and looked over at him. “I understand,” she said. “But if her parents don’t agree. It’s their home.”

That was a good point. Not totally bullshit. Maggie couldn't exactly tell them what to do in their own house - like, how many times had Mom told her that exact thing. Even though that really was Maggie's house too, or it had been. "Oh," Fraser said.

"We'll make sure you're comfortable," Maggie said, "but we're guests."

"Okay," Fraser said. "Well, when we live in our own place."

"What about it?" she asked.

"I want them to stay the night."

Maggie looked off at not much. "I see," she said.

"What. What do you see."

"You're testing me."

Fraser's face went hot. "I am not."

"It's okay," she said. "I'm up for it. We can discuss it. I trust you. I want you to be safe."

That was a weak ass answer, and Fraser would be pissed if he wasn't so tired. "Whatever," he said.

"I'm not just going to tell you whatever you want to hear," Maggie said.

Yeah. No shit. Fraser didn't say anything, but he thought about it while they were driving back and decided Maggie had a point. Whatever, it was nice that Maggie said it because while she didn't say what he wanted to hear she was still nice about it. Mom usually said that when she was in the middle of making him so angry his head would explode. He never asked for anybody to lie to him or anything. He just would like to hear something nice like, every once in a while.

Harper's parents were in the dining room when they got back, sitting at the table. They wanted to talk. Maggie ruffled Fraser's hair and told him to go get changed or whatever but he didn't want to do that. He stayed next to her, and Harper's dad said that they were uncomfortable with him and Harper sharing a room. Though, he misgendered Harper, of course, and used the wrong name but that was the gist. Fraser said okay fine and didn't argue, but they had other things they wanted to talk about too. Things about Mom, he gathered from how they wouldn't say anything while he was there.

"It's okay," Maggie told him. "You can go."

He still didn't want to because they were teaming up on her, but he pretended to go - well, he really did go and got changed in Harper's room. "Where'd you go?" Harper asked.

"Nowhere." He shrugged. Pulled on basketball shorts that looked a lot like what Harper was wearing too, and an old T-shirt.

"Dad says we can't sleep in the same room."

"Yeah. He told us too. Bullshit."

Harper agreed, silently, just looked at him. They did a lot of looking, quietly.

"I'll be right back," Fraser said, and went back out into the hallway. To eavesdrop on whatever Harper's parents were saying to Maggie.

They were talking. It took a second for him to figure out what about - Maggie was arguing with Harper's dad. "-your child, you should be asking those questions yourself. I can only apologize so much. Then it's on you. Your relationship with your child."

"Richard, please," Harper's mom said. "If we don't listen, we're going to lose her."

There was a moment of silence. Then, "Fraser?" Maggie knew he was there somehow. He thought about not coming out, but he did, walked further down the hall so they could see him and put one hand on the wall awkwardly. "All good?" she asked.

"Yeah. Going to the bathroom."

"Okay. What are you worried about?"

"Nothing," he said, which was a lie. He went to the bathroom then, and made sure to come out quietly so he could overhear more.

"-in every way that counts," Maggie was saying. “So I know that he’s never had a friend as dear to him as your daughter, and if you push this, you’re only giving them reasons to keep secrets.”

“They’ll try to keep secrets either way.”

“Not in my house,” Maggie said. “But children learn what’s modeled, I guess. Excuse me, I’m going to go change.” He didn’t catch onto what that meant right away, but then Maggie was walking down the hall with some clothes in her hands, right towards him. She saw him.

Fraser was frozen. He was probably in trouble. But Maggie just pulled him close with one arm around his shoulder and kissed his forehead. “Go,” she whispered, and moved him to get in the bathroom and shut the door. And he knew how to obey. He went, and shut Harper’s door behind himself. Huh.

“What happened?” Harper said.

“I think my mom just roasted your dad,” Fraser answered.

“Whoa.”

“Yeah.”

They were reading different things on their phones next to each other, and Harper was playing music when Harper’s dad knocked on the door and told them, very seriously, that they could share a room for the next two weeks under a certain set of circumstances. Clothes on at all times, he said, and they somehow kept a straight face and agreed. Separate beds, he said next, and they agreed to that too. Door open, he said last, and whatever. Sure. Fine. They would get to share a room.

“We trust you,” Harper’s dad said, except Fraser knew the truth. Maggie done exactly what she’d said she’d do, and when he’d told he wanted something, she’d tried to help him get it. And then she wasn’t even going to tell him about it.

Maggie was still sleeping on the couch. Once everyone was asleep, Fraser got up and walked as quietly as he could out to the living room where she was. She was still awake, she moved to make room for him to sit on the edge of the bed. “Mama,” Fraser whispered.

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

He was waiting for her to do what Mom did. Grab him and crush him into her. Part of him liked when that happened. It felt safe, kind of, when it didn’t feel like being strangled. But Maggie didn’t do that. She squeezed his arm. “I love you,” she said.

“Love you too,” he answered, and tiptoed back to Harper’s room.


End file.
